HORRIFIC ASSAULT: PASTOR WADEN ASSAULTS MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE

In a shocking turn of events, local pastor Waden was observed attacking a McDonald's employee during the lunch rush yesterday afternoon. Eyewitnesses report that the altercation began when Waden complained loudly about the service. The McDonald's employee, giving his name as John Doe, attempted to de-escalate the situation, but Waden launched into